Pornstars can make movies EVEN BETTER!!!
Aside from the occasional role as a stripper, hooker or (shockingly) pornstar, adult film actresses have a hard time catching a break in mainstream Hollywood movies. Traci Lords gave them all hope when she landed a major role alongside Johnny Depp in 1990’s Cry-Baby, but there haven’t been many breakthroughs since. That’s why we were happy to hear the rumors that Quentin Tarantino is considering casting Tera Patrick in a remake of the ’60s cult classic Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!.
But it doesn’t take a genius film auteur to see that casting a porn star in any movie will make it better. They have built-in fanbases, they ooze sex appeal and many of them are actually amazing actresses—how else do they make it look so real? With Tarantino’s movie in the works, we thought we would suggest 5 porn stars ready for the same transition and the movie remakes they should star in. Hit the jump…
MOVIE REMAKE: Adventures In Babysitting
PORN STAR: Ashlynn Brooke
In the original, Elizabeth Shue played the babysitter next door who may or may not also be a Playboy centerfold. A remake with Raven-Symone has been rumored for years, but we have a better idea. Nobody would be able to capture Shue’s balance of sex appeal and all-American wholesomeness better than 22-year-old Oklahoma native Ashlynn Brooke.
MOVIE REMAKE: She’s Gotta Have It
PORN STAR: Lacey Duvalle
The movie that put Spike Lee on the map followed the exploits of Nola Darling, a young, independent Brooklyn woman who sn’t ashamed to admit she dates three men simultaneously. If there’s one thing porn star Lacey Duvalle knows, it’s how to juggle multiple partners. Jermaine Dupri is also ready to play Mars Blackmon.
MOVIE REMAKE: Alien
PORN STAR: Belladonna
It would be hard to top Sigourney Weaver’s original performance as the ass-kicking interstellar soldier Lieutenant Ripley. But if you’ve ever watched Belladonna’s no-holds-barred films, you know that she’s one of the toughest, smartest broads in porn. Plus, she’s already gone bald before, so remaking Alien 3 would be a breeze.
MOVIE REMAKE: The Joy Luck Club
PORN STARS: Miko Lee, Annabel Chong, Avena Lee, Kobe Tai
Even with abundant film titles like My China Doll and China Vagina, there are barely any Chinese-American porn actresses (most are just frontin’-ass Filipinas, Koreans or Japanese). So for the remake to Wayne Wang’s nuanced 1993 drama about mother-daughter relationships, why not cast these few adult actresses who actually do have Chinese blood? The original was way too boring for us, but this is a remake we would definitely blow $10.99 on.
MOVIE REMAKE: Dirty Dancing
PORN STAR: Sasha Grey
There aren’t too many chicks we love more than Jennifer Grey (pre-nose job, of course). But porn’s current “It” girl Sasha Grey is getting close. In fact, she would be a perfect choice to play Jennifer’s character in this ’80s summer camp epic. Not only does she share the same last name, but we can already see her making Jennifer’s signature scowl. Nobody puts Sasha in a corner!
No comments:
Post a Comment